Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid offers Barney, "let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." B... [cały ->]
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Sout... [cały ->]
An Alaskan woman having car trouble pulls her Station Wagon into the local Exxon service station and has it looked over.
The Chillyland mechanic from under the hood says: "Ma'am it looks like you blew a seal."
The Alaskan woman replies wiping h... [cały ->]
A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up.
She replied, "You mean imagine that it's good?!"... [cały ->]
Q.-Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A.- He was attached to Dennis Rodman's head!... [cały ->]
The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today's word is "beautiful". Little Sally, would you please come up here and use "beautiful" in a sentence?"
Little Sally wal... [cały ->]
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a basement?
A: A whine cellar... [cały ->]
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?... [cały ->]
A guy goes to the doctor with a mysterious pain and tells the doctor,
"Doctor, my penis has been burning lately."
And the doctor said reassuringly, "Don't worry son, that just means someone is talking about it."... [cały ->]
1. A cowboy removes his hat when entering the presence of a lady, although he may leave it on if she works in a saloon.
2. A cowboy says EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, when leaving a lady's presence.
3. A cowboy says PARDON ME, MA'AM, when bumping into a la... [cały ->]
A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop.
"Oh no!" cried the brunette. "Is he following me?"
"Yep," replied the blonde.
"I'm going to drive down this little side road, okay?" said the brunette.
"Yep," replied... [cały ->]
A man went to his doctor and said, "I want to be castrated."
"What?" said the doctor, "surely you don't want that."
"Yes," said the man, "that's what I want; I insist."
So, the doctor told him to check into the hospital. When he did he was strip... [cały ->]
Q: Why do blondes wear tampons with long strings?
A: So the crabs can go bungee jumping!... [cały ->]
This guy decides to get a sex change. So he goes to the doctors and has the thing done. A couple of weeks later he was talking to one of his old buddies about it.
"Gee, it must have really hurt when they shot all that silicon into your chest to ma... [cały ->]
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and Hous... [cały ->]